You know those awards you get in high school — the ones where all the classmates vote for Class Athlete, Most Likely to Succeed, etc? Well, the awards I got were — Most Talkativeand Class Taxi. Which I guess means that I talked A LOT 🙋🏻♀️😂 (and was willing to give my classmates lots of rides 🚕).
As I’ve matured, I think I talk much less — but still more than I’d like. When I’m the one talking I’m usually repeating things and ideas I already know or beliefs I already have and while there can be value in sharing my ideas, there is arguably greater value in listening…
Did you know that listening is actually a skill we can deepen and develop with practice?
Did you know that there are *levels* of listening?
1. Listening from Habits of Judgment: This is where we listen with the slant of reconfirming old opinions and judgments. I know I’ve done this - especially in an argument where I’m trying to “prove” my point of view. 🙈 At this level, we often are just waiting to respond, rather than truly listening.
2. Factual Listening: This is where we listen with an open mind, from a place of curiosity. We are open to new information coming in.
3. Empathic Listening: This is where we listen with an open mind and an open heart. We see through the other person’s eyes, we have an emotional connection to them and the experience they are sharing. We pick up on their words, their body language, emotional expressions and energy.
4. Generative Listening: This is where we listen with an open mind, open heart and open will, where we listen from the future that wants to emerge.
As we progress on the scale from 1 to 4, we become more fully present in the current moment with each greater listening level.
What kind of listening mode are you in most often? Test it out — how does it feel to listen more deeply?
Let me know what you experience — I would love to hear from you!